Slow Day

SO, I am having an extremely slow day at work today and got told to just do whatever. So I figure I would update ya'all with a post. Sorry for the novel!

For starters, yes, I am still alive. I am living in Holladay with my boyfriend and a friend of his from childhood. (Who NEEDS to move out because he's lazy and he drives me nuts!!!)

I started a FABULOUS job in August working for Utah Youth Village. My sister Ruth works at the daughter company out in Erda. I never thought there was such an amazing company out there until Ruthie told me they were hiring and to go apply! And I am so glad that I listened to her, and I am so glad that everyone here just loves her to death because I think her being my sister had a LOT to do with me getting the job. I am the front desk receptionist as well as the Evaluations Administrative Assistant.

A lot has happened since my last post. I turned 25, man do I feel a QUARTER OF A CENTURY some days, other days I feel like I'm still 18. I guess having someone around you all the time who loves you SO much and has so much fun with you makes you stay young. Josh turned 33 on September 6th, and I threw him a big barbecue for his family and a couple of friends he works with.

About two weeks ago he called me to tell me he was on the way to the emergency room because he was in excruciating pain, so being the worry wart that I am, took the last half of the day off to go be with Josh in the Emergency Room. He had a kidney stone and was in more pain than I have ever seen anyone be in. The doctors started him with Morphine, 30 minutes, he said he didn't feel any relief. So they gave him some more Morphine. 30 minutes later, still no change whatsoever, so they give him another drug that I can't remember, another hour or so later still felt no change, all the while I'm sitting next to him fighting back the tears because seeing him in so much pain was breaking my heart. The doctor told him to wait a while before they gave him something else for the pain, so we wait. He gives him another shot of some other drug, and finally, after 10 minutes he is able to relax and feel some relief. Unfortunately, the relief did not last very long, and about 30 minutes later he was in pain again, and they were talking about letting us go home. The nurse mentioned him getting a prescription for Percocet, and being the smart girl I am asked if he could get one for Josh before we left. He agreed and got Josh the pill, and 10 minutes later, he finally feels relief that lasted longer than 30 minutes! Who knew that someone who had received enough Morphine to knock me out for 2 days would react best to Percocet. So I took him home, had a sleepless night, and then the next day he felt good enough to not need another Percocet. The strange thing is he didn't feel the stone pass, the doctor said he might not feel it pass but that he might. Maybe all my prayers were answered in him NOT feeling it pass. I sure hope it passed because I don't think I could sit there and watch him be in that much pain ever again!!!

This past week Josh had the opportunity to go to Yellowstone with his parents, cousin and Aunt and Uncle, all expenses paid, so I told him he couldn't pass that up. Thank goodness he was feeling better! So off he went leaving me at home with the two dogs and the roommate I can't stand. Needless to say, I found every excuse to NOT be at home.

Last Saturday, my family said goodbye to one of the most amazing men I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Losing Brother Koehler was like loosing a part of my dad. Growing up he would ALWAYS be around whenever I needed a word of encouragement, or a great big bear hug. He always knew when I needed a hug! So going to his funeral was a necessity for me. I had to go and in my own way pay my respect to one of Heavenly Father's newest and most promising angels! He will be missed by many!

The rest of the week went by super slow, and reaffirmed to me just how much I love Josh. My life would not be the same without him. Before I met him I would rarely wake up smiling, now every morning I wake up with a smile on my face knowing that I get to spend time with the man I love. Not having him home every day was SO hard!! but he came home yesterday and I am super excited to have him home.. Coming to work today was hard because we both just wanted to sit around and catch up on the last week we spent apart.

Now I know a lot of my family members are wondering if I am going to marry this man. My answer is not in the near future. We are both happy with where we are at right now and will take every change that comes our way together and if we decide to get married down the road, we will get married and live happily ever after, and if we don't decide to get married, we will still live happily ever after.

Ok, another random subject change.. Wednesday while sitting at work, it is absolutely down pouring rain, then hail, and then came the thunderstorm. I was looking out the window across the street and I heard this BOOM that was louder than any sound I had ever heard, and simultaneously, I see a gigantic flash of orange and then tree bark fly EVERYWHERE!! Lightning struck one of the tall trees right across the street from my work. Luckily there weren't any cars driving by at that moment, which is a rare thing on this street. Bark flew clear across all of traffic making it sound like cars were driving on a rumble strip.. It was cool and scary all at the same time!

Other than that not a whole lot has been happening. Sorry no pictures.

Mr. Thane

Before the reunion in July, I was lucky enough to get to visit Thane and his family. Tessa and Joe had arranged for one of their friends who does photography to do a photo shoot with me and Thane. I had a lot of fun, and here are just a few of the pictures.. I hope you enjoy!

I"m not dead!

Ok, so I know most of you think I must have died for my lack of blogging, facebooking, etc. No I did not die.. I moved out of my parents house and no longer have daily access to the internet.
Life is great! I am dating a WONDERFUL man named Josh who I love oh so much! I am looking for work, although I do have a job, I am determinded to get out of the gas station and back into real life.

The only exciting thing that has happened to me lately is falling down Josh's brothers stairs and breaking my tail bone the first of the month. So I have been taking it as easy as possible..
Some things you may not realize that you need your bum muscles for in no particular order.
Sneezing, Rolling over, Climbing up stairs, Climbing down stairs, Sitting in a car, Getting out of a car, Laughing, Coughing, Did I mention sneezing?? Cause yeah, that's a killer!!!

Speaking of killing, that's about all my tushie can handle for now, so I'm off to walk around.

Update

So, I haven't posted anything for about a month and for that I am sorry.. I have been busy with school and work and trying to have a social life..

About a week or two ago I received an email from Tessa, Thane is doing very well. He is cutting his first tooth which has made him extremely slobbery. He loves it when Joe plays his guitar for him and will kick his legs the whole time Joe is playing. He enjoys blowing raspberries, and talking, and apparently, he has a lot to say!
Here are some pictures of him.. Such a big boy!

I just want to kiss those cheeks!
Here he is just hanging out.


This is the life!


Whatcha doing mom?

I am sorry if my posts have been more about Thane than they have been about me. Not much happens in my life. So, you get to hear about Thane's life. But I promise that as soon as something blog worthy happens, I will blog about it.

Thank you, thank you very much!

I would like to say thank you to the jerk who hit the back of my car as I was pulling into work at 8:40 last night. I really appreciated getting hit by you and then having you just drive off as if nothing had happened. I really hope that your front bumper needs to be replaced because it is NOT a nice thing to hit someone's car, and then drive off, especially when there is someone in the car!! How did you know that I didn't get hurt? Because yeah, I did!!! My back is in so much pain that I didn't sleep until 6:30 this morning, and yeah, I'm up at 9:30!

So, what kind of inconsiderate jerk does that to someone? Luckily my back and neck are the only sore parts of me, so far. That jerk hit me hard, hard enough to jerk my chest into the steering wheel.. I really hope said hit and runner's car is destroyed!!

Then there was the stupid guy from the Sheriff's department, making me stand out in the cold for 30 minutes so he could sloooooooooowly fill out his paperwork, and then proceed to tell me like he thinks I'm some moron, "You know, we won't be able to find who did this to you." My response, "Duh, I only called so I could make a claim with my insurance."

So, thank you to the person who hit me and took off, way to be a man, or woman about it! Jerk!

Is it possible?

Is it possible that these two boys could be related??

It's official

So, I got an email from Tessa about a week ago letting me know that the Adoption of Thane was official on September 3, 2009. She sent me a few pictures and I will share one of them here now.
My heart aches for Thane every day, but I know that he is in a much better place where he is getting everything he needs an more. Looking at all those beautiful smiling faces makes me know that all the pain I have been going through has been worth it for 5 wonderful people.
I just hope that one day I will wake up and won't automatically think about him.

Hi, so I thought I would post a few pictures of my trip to Seattle..
Here is Roberta and Miss Isabelle being their cute selves!

Mr. Thane making yet again a funny face.. Check out the double chin action!!
My Dad and his double.. so cute
Here he is again with another cute funny face.. And as I post these, I realized that I don't have a picture of me holding him... Hmmmm.. Oh well.. Hope you enjoyed seeing how much he has grown as much as I did..

Life in general

Wow! That is a loaded topic, life... So much has changed in my life from the time I was young to now. I have been lucky enough to find love, I was unfortunate enough to find a love that couldn't last, I have suffered terrible heartache, made the hardest decision a person could ever have to make, I have surpassed my fears and have gone back to school, (and yes, I have cried over homework already). I look at all the hardships in my life and I think about what kind of person I would be today if I had not gone through all the things I have gone through in my life.

For one, had I not married Jordan, I never would have had the privilege to bring a child of my Heavenly Father into this world, I never would have gone through the mental fight day after day deciding what I was going to do with my unborn child. I never would have been able to bless a wonderful family with one of God's children, and what a blessing that has been for me. I also would not know the kind of man I want to spend forever with, had I not spent some time with the wrong one..

I have overcome my fear of failing, and went back to school! Had I not gone back to school, I wouldn't realize just how much I should have remembered all my times tables.... UGH!! Had I not gone back to school, I never would have signed up for my Social Dance class, and had I not signed up for my Social Dance Class, I never would have met and danced with Jameson. Yes, I met a boy! And yes, we held hands the first day! Hahahah! Who knows, maybe I will do something else out of the ordinary for me, and ask him out sometime.. He's 21, LDS and single, why not? Even if we don't go on a "date" it'd still be fun to have him as a friend.. Besides, he's a really good dancer, and he's not much taller than me, which I kinda like!! Hahaha!! Had I not met Jameson, I never would have realized how fun it is to get that feeling in your tummy when you catch a cute guy looking your way.. I feel like a brand new person, out in search of her destiny..

Wow, that was kind of fun! My English teacher had us do a "Free Write" in class today where you just start typing, well, that was my version of a free write about me..

So, something funny that happened to me in dance today... We are learning the Meregnue as our first dance, and we were practicing turns, and my partner, (not Jameson) but this guy, who's name I THINK is Mike.. (in my Computer Essentials Class) turned me a little too quickly, and I TOTALLY fell into him! Had we not been holding hands, my face, and otherbody parts would have very ungraciously met the floor, instead of my partners chest! I was MORTIFIED!!! But we just laughed!! And I turned about 50 shades of red because my teacher SAW my not so graceful turn and BURSTS out laughing!!! Oh well!! If I don't learn anything in this class, I will learn that it's ok to laugh at yourself!!

So, I have my first night at Institute tomorrow night, and I also signed up for the Institute Choir. I am slowly but surely getting myself back out there!! Wish me luck!! I will need it!! Especially if I keep on wiping out in class! Hahaha!! How embarrassing!?!?!? Oh well... I knew I wasn't graceful before I signed up for the class, now I fear I will earn just how ungraceful I really am!! Another funny thing, my mom asked me to show her the footwork for the Merengue, and for those of you unfamiliar with it, a LOT of hip action is involved.. I think with a lot of work and a lot of laughter, my mom will be able to do it! :) It just made me laugh watching her try to move her hips.. I love you mom!!

Well, I should hit the sack now, I have an Institute breakfast in the morning!! Ahhh! Meeting new people makes me nervous!! Maybe I just need to fall into people as an icebreaker!!

So, a lot has happened the last few weeks.. Mom, Dad, and I got home yesterday evening from a WONDERFUL two week vacation to Bothell!
I had so much fun being able to spend time with Aunt Laura, Uncle Richard, Grandma, Lauren, Andrew, Noel, Colin, Gracie, Sarah, LeeAnn, John, sweet little Tate, And Karrie!

While in Bothell, I was able to go out to lunch with my friend John who I went to school with, and we had a blast just talking about life. I also had the chance to see my good friend Hollis.

Roberta, Aaron, Isabelle, Tessa and Thane also came for a quick visit, and as much as I enjoyed being able to spend time with Thane, and see how big he has gotten (He weighs a TON!) I was glad to see him go. Although I could have used some more time with my sister and her family!! I did so much stuff while in Bothell, I don't want to bore any of you with it. All I will say is that it went by way too fast!

Meanwhile, today was my first day of college!! What an experience! I only had my math class today, but it was fun. My math teacher is so funny!! She had the class laughing almost the whole time! Who knew that math could be funny! Granted, the two hours of homework every night will be something I will have to get used to! Tomorrow, I have a full schedule with Computer Essentials, English, Math, and Social Dance, and I also signed up for Institute tonight, and I am joining the institute choir! Yay!! :) My Institute and Choir are on Wednesday nights, I just figure I will wait until next week to go. Speaking of Church, I may have been released from my calling as Sunbeams teacher finally so now I can hopefully be able to go to the Singles Ward now! Yay! Although, I do love the singles in my ward, its just not fun when they're all a lot younger than I am! I need to be with grown ups now. :)

Next Journey in life UPDATE!!!

So, I received a phone call from Tessa wishing me a happy birthday yesterday. She told me that Hadyn was being baptized at 4 p.m. that day, so I got to share my birthday with his special day being baptized! She asked how I was doing and if I was doing anything fun in the near future, and I had mentioned that I was going to be in Bothell, and that Roberta and her gang were going to come and see us because we had some baby clothes to deliver for Rhonda, and Tessa proceeded to ask if it would be ok if they followed Roberta and her gang up to Bothell too!! :) Of course that would be ok!!! So, while in Bothell, I will be able to see Thane and his wonderful family! :) I can't believe he is almost 2 months old!!
I also received quite a shock when my parents and I walked to our table at the Olive Garden for dinner last night, all of my siblings, Minus Roberta :( were there!!! What a great birthday surprise! Expecting a nice quiet dinner with my parents, and get a wonderfully wonderful dinner with all my family!! Thanks again for the great idea of the surprise Ruth, and thanks to all of you for the one hour Swedish Massage!! I will enjoy it thouroughly when I get back from Bothell!

Next journey in my life...

So, I post this with a ginormous smile on my face... As some of you know, my parents are going on a cruise with my Aunt and Uncle leaving from Seattle in August, well.. I had wondered why I couldn't just tag along for the ride and spend the time they are on the cruise with Aunt Laura and her gang, and Grandma, and after much annoying my parents they finally agreed to let me come with them!! So, I will be spending two whole weeks in my home away from home, and I cannot wait!!
We will be driving to Star Valley and spending a few days there for the fair, and then off to Kennewick where we will spend the night at Uncle Paul's house, and then off to Bothell! And once we get home, I have my first day of school the next day. Yes, I will probably be tired, but oh will it be worth it!! I haven't been back to Bothell in 6 YEARS!!!!!! That is 6 years too many!!
So YAY!! I get a much needed vacation from life.

More pictures of Thane

So, I can't help but post pictures of this sweet adorable little boy whenever I get them! So you'll have to humor me! Hahaha
As you will be able to tell, he still does NOT like bathtime!




Still making funny faces! :)

Another funny face

I love the look on his face in this picture! I sure love this sweet little boy!! Not a day goes by where he is not in my thoughts.

School Adventures

I am officially registered for classes at Salt Lake Community College! Heaven help me! I am signed up for Math, English, Computer Essentials, and Social Dance. I really have no clue what social dance entails, but I have to do SOMETHING social! Lest I be permanently removed from society! Classes start August 26th.

Something interesting, as promised

So, after my last post which was quite boring, I figure that I will talk about something not so boring. At least it's not boring to me. I thought I would give everyone an update on my sweet little angel, and share some precious pictures that Tessa emailed me the other night.
At Thane's 3 week check up, he weighed 7 lbs 15oz, and is already eating 3-4 oz per feeding. He is a very cuddly baby, and loves being held, and usually it is his big sister who is always holding him.

I can't believe that it will already have been a month on Sunday since I brought this sweet boy into the world. Ok, now for pictures.. :)Here is a picture of the 5 of them in their front yard in Portland.

The proud Mama looking down on her little boy.

Joe is one proud Daddy!

Here is Thane with Haydn and Liana. So sweet! They love him so much!

Big sister Liana! You can't see that smile and not rea

One big happy family.

The next chapter has begun!!

So, this morning I submitted an application for Salt Lake Community College.. So, I am committed, still don't know what I am going to do, but I will figure something out! Either way, that chapter of my life will be starting in August whether I'm ready for it or not!

On a more happy and exciting note, (at least for me) last night I decided it was time to pull out my pre-pregnancy pants as a way to motivate myself to get back into shape. So, after I unburied them, I decided to really depress myself, and try on some of my jeans, just to see how much work I had in store for myself after I got my doctor's ok to exercise regularly. I was totally expedting them to not be even close to fitting, but they DID!!!!! I can't believe it! After only 2 weeks, I can fit into all of my pre pregnancy jeans! CRAZY!! Needless to say, I was VERY excited last night, and this morning as I pulled on my favorite jeans that I was terrified weren't going to fit me ever again! I have to admit, I am still going to try and lose more inches from my middle, but at least I don't have to be depressed every morning when I have to put on my maternity pants.

Thanks for being so supportive of my craziness and being so happy about fitting into my pants again! I promise that the next time I blog it will be about something very blog worthy!

The arrival of Thane

Well, the day I have spent looking forward to, and dreading at the same time finally came. I have just taken so long to write about it because it has been a very tender subject for me to talk about.
On Thursday the 4th, around 12:45 P.M. after having gone to bed only an hour before (Tessa and I watched Fried Green Tomatoes, I highly recommend it to all) my water decided that it was going to break on me.. Talk about torrential downpour, taking me from sound asleep, to standing up next to the bed thinking, "This can't be happening!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!" So, I go wake my mom up, mainly because I am terrified at this point, she calmly, or tiredly, gets out of bed and calms me down telling me to go back to bed and try and get some sleep while waiting for my contractions to get 3-5 minutes apart.... OK, how am I suppose to sleep after having my water break, will I even know that I'm having a contraction? I had NO CLUE what I was waiting for... Until around 2 A.M. I felt that one!! Nothing consistent until about 3A.M. and then the contractions were coming every 10 minutes. So I laid in bed wide awakee until around 4:00A.M. then I decided that I couldn't just lay in bed anymore, so I got up and sat in the living room until I hear Tessa get out of bed to go to the bathroom, so I walk over to the bathroom door, and when she walks out, I proceed to tell her that today was the day.. She immediately goes into panic mode... I found it quite amusing watching her running around.. Although when she tried calling Joe to tell him to get on a plane, it took her about 10 times calling him before he actually woke up, so with Joe awake and on the way, (Thanks Roberta for watching Haydn and Liana) all we could do was wait until my contractions got to be 3-5 minutes apart, that didn't happen until 8:30 A.M. they were getting closer, and much more painful, and I decided that I really should go into the hospital now.. So Tessa, a complete ball of panic, and I, calm and collected, drove to the hospital..
By the time the nurse came in the room to check me and hook me up to the monitors I was dilated to a 6 already.. And I am getting really close to wanting that epidural... So, she sends for the anesthesiologist, a wonderful man named Ron, by the time he gets there, (10:30 or so) I am in panic because I really wanted my mom to be there when I got the epidural, but she had agreed to substitute at the temple that morning, but I decide that I really can't wait for her, so brave Tessa was there to hold my hand as I got the epidural.. Once the epidural was in and working all we could do was wait.. My contractions were coming consistently every 2-4 minutes. Around 2:00, I started pushing, and 14 minutes later, out came Thane.. He had the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times, my doctor was amazed at how long the cord was. Thane had to be put on oxygen right away because he wasn't breathing, and was apparently a little blue in the face when he came out. It took him a minute or so before he finally started to cry. Of course I was in a panic because he wasn't crying, which made me cry, but once I heard that sweet little cry I was alright. Thane had arrived safely, and in one piece, and his adoptive parents were both so excited to see him.

After we got discharged, Tessa and Thane came back to the house and spent the week with us while we were waiting for Utah to approve the paperwork for the adoption. What a fun week it was getting to watch Tessa and Thane bond with each other. And as hard as it was on Friday when they left, I still think it was easier for me that way than having them leave right after we were discharged.

Every day it gets a little easier to get out of bed and go on with my life, but I do have moments when all I want to do is cry, but I know that I will make it through this because of all of the support that I have received and will be receiving from all of my friends and family.. I know for a fact that I would not make it through this extremely hard time in my life if not for all of you and your love and support. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Now, I couldn't post this without at least one or two pictures of my sweet little boy.This is one of my all time favorite pictures of him. He was in the middle of a yawn. It makes me laugh every time I look at it.

My mom was holding him when all of a sudden he found his thumb! SO cute!!

Here's Dad and his "Mini Me" It's amazing how much Thane looks like my dad. It's a good thing I've got one good looking Dad.


Here I am holding Thane a few minutes before they headed out. He's so tiny!!

Here's a close up of him. He loves having his arms free so he can have them by his face.

Here he is all bundled up ready for the long drive home. My dad took this picture since I was in the bathroom hiding and crying.. I just couldn't bring myself to watch him leave. Notice the funny face.. He was ALWAYS making some kind of funny face.. So fun!

So thanks for humoring me on this extremely long post!

Baby Update, Yet Again

So, I have no idea what I'm going to blog about after this pregnancy is over in 3 weeks and 1 day, give or take when he decides to show up.

I went to the doctor's yesterday, all prepared for him to tell me that the baby is still breech, when the doctor told me he felt the head, I really didn't believe him. So thank you to all of you who have kept me in your prayers. They sure work! Now if only he will Stay the right direction!

In a way I am sad that he turned, because now I have no clue when to tell Joe and Tessa to come to Salt Lake so they can be here for the birth of their son. Not knowing exactly when he is going to be here stinks!! So, if you all wouldn't mind, continuing to pray for me for just a few more weeks that he will come on time, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks for all the love and support you have given me!

Baby Update

Of course it's another baby update! Do I really have anything else as exciting going on in my life?
So, I went in for my first weekly doctor visit to see how I'm dilating, and to see how the baby is positioned, well, while the doctor was checking me, he got a funny look on his face and said, "I feel feet!" UH-OH! Was the first thing that came to my mind. He then proceeded to tell me that if the baby stayed breech then we would have to talk about my options, in other words, C-Section!
As nice as it would be to know exactly when this child is going to come into the world, it would be even better if they didn't have to cut me open in order to make that happen. Although the more I think about it, the more I'm preparing myself for him to not turn. So, I am starting to mentally prepare myself for a C-Section, which will be great because then I can tell Tessa and Joe that their son will be here on this day! Since they are both planning on coming down for the birth. But, I still have my hopes that he will be a good boy and turn. (Does poking them help?) Hahah!
Other than the news of him being breech, all is well. Just have the "normal" pregnancy aches and pains. But it will all be over soon. And I cannot wait to see Tessa and Joe hold their son for the first time.

So, I've had some people tell me that they would like to see a picture of my growing tummy, so here it is. Enjoy. Or don't, doesn't matter to me either way! Sorry there's nothing more interesting for me to blog about at the moment.

Time Flies

Time flies faster than I want it to some days, and other days it seems to just drag out! I cannot believe I only have 8 weeks and 1 day until this precious baby boy is due to be born.. Now, if he comes when he's suppose to or if he makes everyone wait a little while longer, nobody knows. Tessa is planning on being here for the birth, I know Joe would like to be here for the birth, but has responsibilities with work and with his band that he can only hold off for so long.. I just feel bad that I can't tell them that the baby is coming on this day at this time. So, it may just be Tessa here for the birth of their soon to be son.
There are times I feel that life is just flying past me, leaving me in the dust, and there is the occasional moment when I feel like I am finally able to keep up with life. I think I have decided what I want to do with my time after I have the baby, I have been contemplating going back to school.. To study what, you ask? I have no idea! But I've been seriously contemplating the thought.
So any suggestions on what I should study would be much appreciated. Seeing how I have NO idea what I want to do.

Dentist

So, before I went to Portland, I took a trip to a dentist covered by my insurance because I was afraid that I needed some work done on my teeth, little did I know (No thanks to the stupid dentist) I have 11 cavities that need fillings. Oh happy happy joy joy! To say the least, the dentist I saw was not a nice man, and he was very inconsiderate. I ended up coming home in tears because of how I was treated there, and vowed never to go there again! I'd rather have all my teeth fall out than ever go back there! I also felt that I would rather PAY our family dentist to do the work for me than get it done and have insurance cover it and have me treated like I wasn't even human.

So I told Dad about the way I was treated after my appointment, and today while he was at his dentist, he mentioned my experience I had at the beginning of the month, and bless this mans heart, he said that he would take care of everything for me free of charge! And of course that made me cry too!! I am still amazed that there are truly good people out there in the world!
Heaven bless you Doctor LaFeber!

Pictures

Sorry that the pictures are late and a little blurry!The people on the right (looking straight at the picture) are Joe's Mom and Dad.

Here's me with the wonderful family who I just love to pieces! Liana, who is 10 is standing on the end, Tessa is next to me, Joe is next to her, and Mr. Haydn, who is 7 (and might have to share his birthday with his brother) is in the front.

I had a picture of me and Roberta too but it looks like Tessa didn't send it to me, I will have to have her send me that one!

So, I LOVE this family! The week I spent in Portland was one of the best weeks of my life! They are so wonderful! Sure, I came home with Isabelle's cold, but hey, it has been worth being able to spend time with the baby's new family. I feel as if I am a part of their family now too. I am now more excited than ever to have the baby, and be able to spend a week watching him with his new mommy. Saying goodbye will be so much easier after a week than after 24 hours. Besides, it isn't really goodbye, just sort of a see ya later. Life is good and I am happy! Can't believe I'm already almost 29 weeks along. Thanks for all the love and support!

My next great adventure

So, in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow, I will be on my way to the airport to spend 8 wonderful days with the family who will be adopting my baby. I am so excited to finally be able to meet them in person and thank them for opening their hearts and their lives to my child! They seem like a wonderful family, and I am truly blessed to have them become a part of my family. Here is a picture of the wonderful family! Tessa, Joe, Liana, ad Haydn (Who's birthday is actually my due date).
I know that as soon as I see Tessa at the airport tomorrow I am going to have to fight every urge to just cry tears of joy! This is one step in this journey I am on that I am very excited to take. I will try and take lots of pictures while I am up there and I will post them on my blog when I get home.
Wish me luck!

Gift Challenge

My cousin April posted this great idea. Since I REALLY want something from her (even though I'm a little nervous about her limitations posted below), I'm offering the same challenge to you. The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be.
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog (or facebook, etc.) and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! Good luck!

Yet another challenge

Yesterday I found out that Jordan is to be married on the 25th of April. He has also requested a temple divorce, which I will comply and give to him. As hurt as I am that he has been able to move on so quickly, I am hoping that he will find true happiness, because I know that I will be happy again, and I feel that even people who do the wrong thing deserve happiness.
I am not going to let this get me down, I am going to go on living and enjoying my life as if the past 3 1/2 years never happened. :) Life is too short and too precious to dwell on the past. I just keep telling myself that the Lord must think I am one tough cookie or He wouldn't keep throwing stuff like that at me. But like they always say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone

You know, having a job the past two weeks has made me realize how depressed I had been before I got this job.. Yes, I admit that I was sick most of the time, but when I wasn't feeling sick, I was moping around the house feeling sorry for myself that I didn't have a job. Now, having a job that I love, makes every day something I look forward to facing!
I am also happy to say that in two weeks time, I will be in Portland spending a week with the family who is going to adopt the baby. And I will see Roberta in the process. :) I never knew I could feel so excited and so nervous at the same time! It will be a week spent bonding with the family who will take my son and raise him as their own, and I know I will love every minute of it, and I am sure that I will just cry when I have to leave to come home.
I am happy to say that the baby is healthy and strong! And I am doing well also.. I am at a good weight, having only gained 4 pounds so far, although I have to admit, I think I haven't gained much because of how sick I was to begin with, but my doctor said that I was at a very good weight for being as far along as I am.. I can't believe I only have four more months to go..

So, life is good, I am happy to say! It was quite a time when I doubted I would ever be able to smile again, but I am back to my cheerful, happy self! Thanks to all of the love and support I've been given.

Food for the spirit

After having a wonderfully spiritual talk with Aunt Brenda this morning, it made me think about how we feed our bodies, but do we really feed our souls as much as we should? After feeling how amazing a full soul feels, I don't know how I could last as long as I did before today for my next spiritual feeding session. The talk I had with Aunt Brenda also reaffirmed in me, the love that my family has for me, especially when my soul is in need of as much love as it can get. The timing of Aunt Brenda and Uncle Dave was not a coincidence, the Lord knew that my soul needed to be fed, and I am grateful that Aunt Brenda and Uncle Dave listened to the spirit and gave them a reason to pass through Salt Lake.

So, what I hope to get across to you today, is to not forget that our souls need nourishment too. So remember to feed your soul! You will feel absolutely wonderful when it's full.
Thanks again Aunt Brenda! I sure love you! And I everyone else as well!!

It's about time!!

So, I FINALLY have a job!! And I owe it all to my marvelous father who talked to his boss at the gun store, and told him what a great asset I would be to the company! I just finished day 2 and I am LOVING it!! Thanks for your help Pops!

Wonderful Blessings

So, I am having a baby boy, I am 20 weeks along, due the 5th of June, and not only did I find out that I am having a healthy baby boy today, I informed a wonderful family that they would be receiving a baby boy! A lot of prayer and thought went into making the decision of who should raise this baby, and I believe I made a great decision in choosing this family. I know that this decision will not only bless the life of this child, but it will bless the life of this wonderful family who knew there was someone else meant to be in their family, and it will also bless my life in ways that I will never know. For the first time in this pregnancy, I feel at peace. Thank you for all of the love and support that you have all given me, it means a lot to know that I have such an amazing group of people behind me who love me and want the best for me.
I would not have been able to make the decision to give this child a better life, if not for all of you, so thank you!

Personal Update

So, what's new with Brenda? Well, I still don't have a job, and yes, I have been looking. I am feeling human again, other than a constant state of feeling icky if I don't constantly have something in my belly.. I find out on Thursday if I am having a boy or a girl.. Emotionally, I cry at just about everything, although I cried at everything before I was pregnant, but it's much worse now, just ask any of my sisters who have talked to me recently. Other than that, things are going very well for me.. I have a great support team here for me, a wonderful ward, who offer to help in any way they can whenever they see me, a great mom who makes really yummy food for me, and sometimes, she even makes me something that sounds good to me that might not have been in her original plan, just because she loves me! :D My latest "crave" has been for jello, but I made that on my own. Nothing disgusting yet, thank goodness! So, life for Brenda Sue is pretty great at the moment, and it will just continue to get better as time goes by!
Thanks for all of your prayers! Feel free to keep them coming!

All is well

So, here in the land of snow, I am glad to say that today I am feeling pretty good, without the aid of drugs I might add, I have managed to keep breakfast and lunch down both successfully! Hopefully being almost 16 weeks along has cured my morning sickness, but we shall see what tomorrow brings.

I am enjoying living at home and going back to my home ward and seeing all the wonderful ward members I grew up with, I feel their love and support for me every day! And I have to say that I have the best visiting teacher I could possibly ask for, there hasn't been one time she has seen me where she has not asked me if there was anything she could do for me. I love her with all my heart! And I am extremely jealous that Ryder gets to spend time with her every week in preschool! What a lucky kid to have a teacher who is so full of love and devotion to everyone around her!

I am also very grateful to have such a wonderful family!! A girl in my situation could not ask for a better support team! Thank you to all of you for everything you have done for me. Each and every one of you have a very special place in my heart that could not be filled with something else. I wish you all the best for Christmas, and may we each take time to remember the true reason for the season in the bustle of trying to get presets for everyone on our list, remember the tiny baby who was sent down to earth for each one of us.

Merry Christmas!

Not a lot going on

So, sadly, my life isn't very entertaining for the blogging world.. Not a lot has happened since I last posted. Hopefully I am on my way out of the whole morning sickness phase of this pregnancy, if not, it is going to be a long 9 months with expensive drugs to stop the throwing up!! My doctor put me on a medication that is given to calm the stomachs of chemo therapy patients, and it seems to work WONDERS, seeing how the phenagren (sp?) just made me throw up even MORE!! I figure $ 3.50 a pill is worth being able to eat, right?
I have enjoyed very much going back to my home ward with my parents, I could only think of one other place I would rather be at this point in my life... I truly am blessed beneath all the sorrow that has fallen upon me.

Is it almost over?

So, the Doctors appointment went well. There's only one bun in the oven, which I was kinda worried about seeing how twins run in BOTH mine and Jordan's families. Got some blood work done, once they poked me twice since the first vein she poked didn't bleed at all. (It's a good thing she knew what she was doing.) So now I go back in 4 weeks for my first official ultrasound.
I have reason to celebrate this gloriously chilly morning, I have yet to throw up today, and I am hoping that this means I am on my way out of the morning sickness phase.
Sadly, I don't have a whole lot more to talk about. This baby has become the center of my life right now. Now if only I could find a job! Anywhere!!!!

Starting over

So, my life seems to have taken a turn for the worst. My husband and I decided in September that our lives would be better if we went our separate ways, so my marriage of three years is now over. Luckily, some good did come out of the marriage before it ended, I became pregnant in September, although I did not find out I was pregnant until mid-October. Sure I have done nothing but feel like throwing up the last month, sure Jordan doesn't want to be involved in our child's life, but none of that will stop me from keeping my chin up and being grateful I got pregnant to begin with. Because I was starting to worry that it would never happen. But it did happen, and come June 2009 I will have my own little bundle of joy! I go to my first appointment on Thursday, and I will keep my blog updated on the baby's progress.

Please don't feel sorry for me, I am feeling sorry enough for myself without making everyone else around me feel awful. All I do ask, is for your prayers that I have the strength to make it through this. Be happy for me, I have a chance to start over, to find my TRUE soul mate, and I have the chance to bring a child of God into this world. I could not be happier.

Thank you all for your love and support! It means the world to me.