On Thursday the 4th, around 12:45 P.M. after having gone to bed only an hour before (Tessa and I watched Fried Green Tomatoes, I highly recommend it to all) my water decided that it was going to break on me.. Talk about torrential downpour, taking me from sound asleep, to standing up next to the bed thinking, "This can't be happening!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!" So, I go wake my mom up, mainly because I am terrified at this point, she calmly, or tiredly, gets out of bed and calms me down telling me to go back to bed and try and get some sleep while waiting for my contractions to get 3-5 minutes apart.... OK, how am I suppose to sleep after having my water break, will I even know that I'm having a contraction? I had NO CLUE what I was waiting for... Until around 2 A.M. I felt that one!! Nothing consistent until about 3A.M. and then the contractions were coming every 10 minutes. So I laid in bed wide awakee until around 4:00A.M. then I decided that I couldn't just lay in bed anymore, so I got up and sat in the living room until I hear Tessa get out of bed to go to the bathroom, so I walk over to the bathroom door, and when she walks out, I proceed to tell her that today was the day.. She immediately goes into panic mode... I found it quite amusing watching her running around.. Although when she tried calling Joe to tell him to get on a plane, it took her about 10 times calling him before he actually woke up, so with Joe awake and on the way, (Thanks Roberta for watching Haydn and Liana) all we could do was wait until my contractions got to be 3-5 minutes apart, that didn't happen until 8:30 A.M. they were getting closer, and much more painful, and I decided that I really should go into the hospital now.. So Tessa, a complete ball of panic, and I, calm and collected, drove to the hospital..
By the time the nurse came in the room to check me and hook me up to the monitors I was dilated to a 6 already.. And I am getting really close to wanting that epidural... So, she sends for the anesthesiologist, a wonderful man named Ron, by the time he gets there, (10:30 or so) I am in panic because I really wanted my mom to be there when I got the epidural, but she had agreed to substitute at the temple that morning, but I decide that I really can't wait for her, so brave Tessa was there to hold my hand as I got the epidural.. Once the epidural was in and working all we could do was wait.. My contractions were coming consistently every 2-4 minutes. Around 2:00, I started pushing, and 14 minutes later, out came Thane.. He had the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times, my doctor was amazed at how long the cord was. Thane had to be put on oxygen right away because he wasn't breathing, and was apparently a little blue in the face when he came out. It took him a minute or so before he finally started to cry. Of course I was in a panic because he wasn't crying, which made me cry, but once I heard that sweet little cry I was alright. Thane had arrived safely, and in one piece, and his adoptive parents were both so excited to see him.
After we got discharged, Tessa and Thane came back to the house and spent the week with us while we were waiting for Utah to approve the paperwork for the adoption. What a fun week it was getting to watch Tessa and Thane bond with each other. And as hard as it was on Friday when they left, I still think it was easier for me that way than having them leave right after we were discharged.
Every day it gets a little easier to get out of bed and go on with my life, but I do have moments when all I want to do is cry, but I know that I will make it through this because of all of the support that I have received and will be receiving from all of my friends and family.. I know for a fact that I would not make it through this extremely hard time in my life if not for all of you and your love and support. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Now, I couldn't post this without at least one or two pictures of my sweet little boy.
This is one of my all time favorite pictures of him. He was in the middle of a yawn. It makes me laugh every time I look at it.
My mom was holding him when all of a sudden he found his thumb! SO cute!!
Here's Dad and his "Mini Me" It's amazing how much Thane looks like my dad. It's a good thing I've got one good looking Dad.
Here I am holding Thane a few minutes before they headed out. He's so tiny!!
Here's a close up of him. He loves having his arms free so he can have them by his face. 
Here he is all bundled up ready for the long drive home. My dad took this picture since I was in the bathroom hiding and crying.. I just couldn't bring myself to watch him leave. Notice the funny face.. He was ALWAYS making some kind of funny face.. So fun!So thanks for humoring me on this extremely long post!
10 comments:
What a good-looking boy Thane is! Ben and I are so grateful that everything turned out fine with the delivery. We're so impressed with your strength and we know that the Lord will bless you in whatever way you need.
Brenda, you rock! I admire your courage and the love you have already shown that cute little guy by giving him a full family! I don't know how you did it, but it feels right. Stay strong and happy.
We're all so proud of you Brenda, you have gone through this experience with grace and selflessness. You will be blessed, I have no doubt!
Love you lots, Brenda Sue!
What a wonderful gift you have given to not only Thane's adoptive parents, but to Thane as well. You are a strong, wonderful woman. I am proud of you and my heart breaks for you at the same time. Know that you are loved and supported by all of us.
He is such an adorable baby!! I am here for you in any way you need!! He is going to grow up so loved and so blessed because of this very difficult desicion you have made! Call me anytime!!!
Isabelle, Carly and I visited Thane last night, and he is such a cutie. There was such a peaceful feeling at the McMurrian's house, and they have nothing but love for Thane, and especially Brenda. Don't be afraid to face the world - go to church and let your support system support you. See you in a few weeks!
I agree! Go fill your bucket because it's probably feeling pretty empty right now. Cry as much as you need to cry and relive every moment and then go get on with your life. You're going to be fine and Thane is going to be great as well, so go get happy - you deserve it after doing one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in your life. Talk to your bishop and get some direction from him and go for the gold, girl!! You can have it if you want it enough to do the work! We love you. Karen (NOT handsome Rob today)
Brenda- You have shown a strength that most of us feel we could never have. I think of you often and pray for you more. You will be so blessed for the love you have shown your little boy. I agree with Aunt Karen go fill your buckets. This is the time most to rely on Christ, who truly understands what you are going through right now. I love you and truly admire you.
My dear Brenda! I feel that I am standing on holy ground, figuratively speaking. There are so many things I would like to say, but don't have the words for them. How blessed little Thane is that you are his birth mother. I have no doubt our loving Father in Heaven, His Son, and the Holy Ghost will help you through this. What a remarkable woman you are; and to think...you are still near the beginning of your journey. There is much happiness waiting for you. A person can't put oneself into God's hands, as you have done, and not reap the blessings.
Thank you, Brenda, for making yourself so transparent to all of us. We have all grown as we have shared your journey of faith and true charity. I am humbled to know you and to share your name.
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